Are we all really the same person? A giant person split into tiny pieces much like each of the cells in our own body make up one person. All part of the same one. We love, we fear, and we live and die by our stories, the things we tell ourselves are an absolute truth, unchangeable, the “it is what is is” and the “what can I do about it?” stories that keep us small, afraid, and disempowered — well, at least some of us do.
I like to think of myself as a “Story-Breaker.” I like to poke holes in people’s stories, the ones that keep them small, the ones that comfort them in the wrong ways and the ones, especially the ones, that make them think they are safe.
I let my own “stories” run the show for years, I did not even know I had a story. I was afraid of almost everything and even more afraid to change. Now, through coaching people one on one I see my story reflected back at me 100 times and my heart breaks right open. It sees the reflection of pain and joy in others. It sees my own weakness and my own pure heart.
We are so clouded by our stories we don’t even know we have been cast in a play and we are really the directors not just the actors being told what to do, say and where to be.
The best part about our stories is that they can sometimes separate from us others. We can judge others, especially if they have a different story or disagree with ours — the instruction manual of life did not tell us how to fix that. It did not tell us how to fill the holes that judgment leaves in our heart, how to bridge the separation it causes that leads us to believe we are special, unique, different — that somehow our story is different from others and we are different from others. We love that story the best. What we were not informed of is so simple. What we want to change about others reflects what we need to tidy up about ourselves. We are not so different. The clues to our own happiness are all hidden in plain sight right underour very own noses. However, it could never be that simple… right?
We try and control everything in an attempt to keep a busy and loud mind quiet. We also missed the boat on this. The only thing we can control is our reaction, our response, how we feel about things, what we say, and how we act upon our impulses. We sit on such power and yet fall victim time and time again to the sword of the ego.
We ask ourselves disempowering questions hoping to get an empowering answer, or maybe we want the answer to be the same so we can stay the same. We want to stay in the comfort of our bubble where at least we know what we have to control and what beasts pop up. I can certainly relate to that. However….
Asking better questions will give us a better life.
Responding verses reacting will give us our power back and help us stand in our authenticity and maturity
Directing the play will put us back into the control we so desperately seek
Opening our hearts to new concepts such as these will give you the keys to your very own and very comfortable prison cell. Once you have the keys it is your choice to stay put or walk to freedom. Freedom of mind can be more daunting that an old man free to walk out of his sentence after 50 years — with no idea what kind of world awaits him. It is scary, it is difficult, we will trip and we may fall but we may also get back up we may and soar.